The Final Blog In My Pay It Forward Like That Kid In That Movie From The Other Movie Where He Sees Dead People, Summer Blog Guest Series

Summer is over. Thank balls. Because I have had enough boob sweat to last me a lifetime. As summer ends, so does my awesome summer guest blogger series, with the title that is way too long. 

I did this guest blogger series this summer for a couple of reasons. One is because I am lazy in the summer & would rather drink beer than blog. And another is because now that I have more readers than I ever dreamed of having, I like to spread the love by spotlighting other bloggers who are either just starting out or just haven't had a chance to get noticed on a larger platform. The fact that I am "a larger platform" shocks me daily. And the fact that when I ask these bloggers to write for me they are actually nervous and excited shocks me even more. I am just a dork, with a dorky blog. All you guys need to chill. 

My final post of the summer is from Allyson who has a blog called The Crumb Diaries. My friend Chris introduced me to her blog and I kinda fell in big time like with her. What did it for me was the fact that Allyson raises a special needs son, and since I have an older sister who has special needs, I felt an instant connection to her.

After reading a few posts about her son Logan, I was smiling from ear to ear at his quirky self and I wanted to jump into my computer to give him a big old hug. Allyson's gift is that she is able to laugh at the interesting things that happen at her house instead of letting things get her down. And as the parent of a special needs child, THAT is the key. As a matter of fact, as a parent of ANY child, that is the key. As you all know, I can laugh about pretty much anything, and that is why I have enjoyed various jobs working with special needs children and adults in the past. Patience and a sense of humor make all the difference in the world. Allyson has both of those and I think it's pretty great that she is sharing Logan with us. This boy is a hoot.

So I wanted to share Allyson and Logan with all of you and give a big shout out to everyone who is raising a child with special needs. You are the rock stars of the mommy world.

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I am honored, flattered, and amazed at being invited to do this guest post. For REAL- amazed. I am just a small town girl who lives a crazy life and started throwing it into a blog- so for Insane in the Mom Brain to pick it up and run with it is unreal. To write out your innermost feelings, and be liked, appreciated and acknowledged by someone you’ve looked up to is crazy! STILL grinning.

So, what is this crazy life that I speak of? It’s kind of like this: I am the Ringleader of a 3-ring shit show. Now, don’t get me wrong- by “shit show” I really don’t mean it’s all bad. I literally mean some days are an actual “shit” show, as my special needs teenaged son is the Master of all things that clog. There is not a toilet that he cannot defeat and conquer – including any Disney World hotel toilet, which you’d think would be equipped for people after eating all that crappy park food. THAT was embarrassing.

Last Xmas, he actually received his own plunger. See? SHIT show- legit.

One day, (a day that still holds strong as my worst day of my life) we had a flood in our basement. The water resulted in damaging both my washer and dryer. I am somewhat of a laundry fanatic, so this was traumatic for me. I was bound and determined to get at least one load of laundry done- so I chose the most important thing- bath towels. This took me ALL day, these bath towels. The washer didn’t spin right, so I had to keep going down to the basement and screwing around with it. The dryer wasn’t getting hot enough, so it took 4-5 cycles to dry the load. It took me about 6-7 hours to get one load of towels washed- but I did it! I felt pretty accomplished putting them away.

I went to bring down some more laundry and noticed a smell.  Upon further inspection, I made the very unpleasant discovery that our 7’ tall freezer had died in the flood, and now its contents were…well you know *gag*. I called in back up on this one, and the husband and his trusty 2-wheeled dolly came to the rescue…until he put the freezer up onto the dolly, the door swung open and SPLASH GUSH OOZE, all things nasty and rotten came pouring out of that freezer and onto my basement floor. *dry heave* We sort of stood there for a moment, frozen in horror. The stench snapped me out of it and the cleaning process began. Bleach. Lysol. Ammonia. HOURS this took us. As we were just finishing the clean up, I notice drip- drip- drip water leaking from a pipe overhead. “Huh, that’s strange. That’s not a water pipe” my husband says….then.. “Where is Logan?”

I rush up 2 flights of stairs to find the upstairs bathroom door locked. *knock knock* nothing.

“Logan…everything okay in there?”….not a peep. Finally I jimmy the door open- to find Logan standing in the bathroom…..pants around his ankles..an unbent wire coat hanger in his hand. He’d been trying to ‘snake’ the clog- and also clean up- unsuccessfully. The floor was soaked..and what was also soaked? My precious towels. Every. Last. One.

It’s always something at our house. Sometimes good, sometimes not, but writing it out does help. As Logan is growing up- he’s getting more and more fun. The stuff he does intrigues me- I really wonder about the ‘why’ behind it. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

He has a cell phone, like most teens. It’s set up so he can press a button and call one of us, and the caller ID is linked to a photo so he knows who is calling. This works great- MOST of the time, although he won’t stop changing it to French which forces me to sit on a translation program online to change it back, because I don’t know French! He has also replaced our pictures in the caller ID feature. I am now a turkey sandwich, my husband is a bath mat and my daughter is some rocks.  He loves the camera feature on the phone. He favors taking ‘self shots’ as well as MANY shots of his feet.

Some others:

He can be a challenge- but being the mom to a special needs kid has taught me so much. I am the parent I may have pitied 17 years ago, but boy has my opinion changed. I feel lucky, I feel blessed, I feel accomplished. He has taught me patience, tolerance, persistence, but above everything else, he has taught me that no matter what life throws at me, I can handle it. I can have a shit day and really feel like bitching about it- but then I realize- someone, somewhere is having a much worse day than me. Someone somewhere is having a much worse life than me. Someone somewhere is much less loved than me. I honestly have nothing to complain about- so I laugh and share.

Someone once accused me of ‘exploiting’ Logan for laughs. I feel really sorry for this schmuck who thinks that. I laugh because Logan’s funny! He says and does things so outside the box. He does things we don’t understand- does that mean I can’t share them?

I mean, some stuff’s been a bit baffling, maybe even troubling- but it’s all just him.

He has an obsession with ponies- I worried it was a fetish!!  (No really, I even called the doctor)

He pours powder into things. Yea, wtf? 

He hoards magazines –mostly Victoria’s Secret (ugh!)

He dips chips in yogurt and hot dogs in chocolate.

He takes/hides/loses important documents, keys, tv remotes. You name it- he has stolen mine and lost it and blamed it on somebody else, usually “Santa”. He’s the go-to guy for pinning it on.

In all reality, I never saw this life for me. I never saw myself as having to be a knock-down drag-out fighter who would stop at nothing for my kid. I never saw my child living with me forever. I never saw it coming…but I would never change it.

We may never understand the ‘why’ of Logan, but I’ve come to terms with letting go of the ‘what if’ for Logan. He is just Logan- quirks and all, and I will continue to love him, laugh with him and blog about him. Because he’s freakin’ awesome- and the star of this show.

Allyson's blog:  The Crumb Diaries

Allyson's Facebook page: The Crumb Diaries