Pay it Forward, I see dead people, share some bloggers that I would like to hump, summer guest blogger series #6 or 7 I'm not sure cuz I lost count and I'm too lazy to go back and look.

This blog post is from the adorable Christine over at Humble Writes Words. She's new. She's young. She's good. Oh! And she has a few kids. Actually, the "about" section of her Facebook page says "I'm 27. I have 5 kids. Like a boss." And guess what? That makes my brain, my body, and especially my vagina, super tired. As a matter of fact just reading that made my vagina yawn, put on flannel pi's, grab a good book, and settle in for the night. 

And now I'm totally distracted with thoughts of my vagina doing all kinds of of strange things.

This could totally be a Pixar movie. If Pixar was into doing animated movies about vaginas. Which I don't think they are.

Anyhoo...Don't tell the other guest bloggers, but Christine is probably my favorite so far. Why? Because she wrote such nice things about me. Did anyone else do that? No. Epic fails on their parts? Yes. It's always good to say nice things about the person who invited you to write on their blog. ALWAYS. Christine knows this, and me thinks this girl is gonna go far.

Maybe her vagina and my vagina can go on a cartoon Thelma and Louise adventure. But without the dying part. And not in a convertible. Vaginas in a convertible seems inappropriate. Unless they are wearing sundresses and hats. Then? Totally cool.

Be Cool Humble...Be Cool

When Patti asked me if I would be interested in guest posting on her blog, my immediate reaction was, "Does she know she is messaging me? Because I think she meant to send this to someone else..." so I responded "Sure can! Is there something you had in mind?" Really, I was only testing to see if she was really talking to me on purpose, so when she replied with "Just be yourself" instead of "Whoops!! Not you!! Facebook is a glitchy piece of shit!" I knew I was totally screwed. 

Why? Because telling me to be myself is basically like saying "Try really hard and hopefully someone will think your a natural"


And plus I don't know if you have noticed.....
Patti and this blog are a big deal.
And she doesn't even know it.
Or she knows it and doesn't give a crap like how all honestly cool people do.
But I have insider info and been a fan of Insane in the Mom Brain for awhile (well before I ever started any of my own malarkey on my Facebook page and blog) and will tell you, she is a fan favorite not just among the readers, but among the bloggers.

Which basically means it took me 2 nerve wracking months to think of what in the hells bells I could possibly say that embodies "Just be yourself" without sounding like I am trying really hard to be a natural, and also not portraying myself as a brown noser. So since I can check those little boxes as MISSION FAILED....

Me being myself, isn't always possible. 
I feel miserable almost all of the time. Pushed to my limits, or in the middle of some type of breakdown. Not the kind where you are screaming or yelling and crying (although that happens occasionally) but the kind where you are just functioning like a robot to get through the day to do the next day, and the day after. Part of me, would just LOVE to get on Facebook or my blog and say "My life sucks, today sucks, tomorrow will probably be just as lizzzame" but alas, we all have read blogs and posts like that, haven't we? We have all heard about the kid drama, the spouse significant other drama, the family drama, and so forth, and I am not saying there isn't a time and place for it, there is, and everyone should reach out to someone and say "Yo, this shit is weak" but if I did that, for me personally, I wouldn't be able to stop. If there is one thing I can do really well, it is being a bitter Betty, a negative Nancy, a Debbie downer, you name a bitchy bitch that you don't wanna fuck, and I can be her, quick status.

Me most of the time

But I just, can't. Fighting the inner snarky bitch, is hard work. I have had to hide people from my feed so I wouldn't be tempted to be the person I try so hard not to be.
I have had to force myself to find something positive to say about something, so I couldn't get trapped in the snark addiction.
Five kids is a lot of work. I feel like I can't stay on top of things, or who are we kidding, even find the top of the things to even get on top of the things that I am supposed to be staying on. So in order to not give in to the itch that is the bitch, I like to surround myself with happy shit that I like, be around caring and funnier than me people, and learn from this great big stupid sad, but gloriously beautiful world, and enjoy the fuck out of it.
That is why I started my page. That is why I started my blog. To hang on to the part of me that doesn't want to give in to feeling jaded.

Me trying to be positive and shit

What ended up as a small mission to make others smile and displace my struggles, turned into a lifestyle. I find things that I like, things that make me laugh, and share a few things that I have learned about myself through my struggles and share them with people in hopes that they will feel a little less alone, a little less crazy (well I can't actually guarantee that...being as bat shit cray that I am...I am not a miracle worker) and little more hopeful.
I like to think of myself as a forced optimist, as in, I am enforcing optimism to be the shining light that guides me...(cue the Tyra Banks theme song) throughout my struggles and mundane raising 5 kids in a 2 bedroom mobile home kind of life.
I strive to see the better in people, not judge them for face value, and treat them how I want to be treated...with respect you know? By listening to them, and shutting up when I am listening, and saying things that are nice, and not all mean and shit.
So if you are into that kind of positive shit you are invited to read my blog. You are also invited if you aren't into super positive shit because you are already jaded and like it that way. I am not always "on" I am not always even making any goddamn sense (like maybe, now....)and I most certainly never know what the fuck I am doing (definitely...like now)
And really, I kind of like that. I guess I like being myself, or the person I strive to be, even with the run on sentences and the pirate mouth and the insecurities, I am doing alright.
I mean, I made it to being on Patti's blog, so I must be at least a little cool.

Me trying to be cool at being myself

-Christine Vader
Facebook: Slice of Humble
Blog: Humble Writes Words